


Napoleon Complex

by insaneshadowfangirl



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Kidnapping, Other, Ridiculous, Swapfell Papyrus - Freeform, Swapfell Sans, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Underswap Papyrus, dammit Sora, nobody takes swapfell sans seriously, smol sans - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 19:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9287123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insaneshadowfangirl/pseuds/insaneshadowfangirl
Summary: Underswap Papyrus is kidnapped by Swapfell Sans.This does not go as intended.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sora_Tayuya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sora_Tayuya/gifts).



> So Sora and I were talking (shocker), and they mentioned they wanted to see Stretch in a slave leia outfit at the mercy of Swapfell Sans.
> 
> I informed them that there was no way it would work, because Stretch would be laughing too damn hard. The resulting fic is what you have here. Enjoy!

The abduction was quick, efficient, and ruthless. Stretch never saw his assailant coming. He was swiftly knocked unconscious, bound, and dragged off to here, wherever here happened to be.

 

If it were any other kidnapping situation, any other captor, Stretch could admit to himself that he would probably be terrified.

 

As it was, though, he can’t stop snickering.

 

“STOP LAUGHING!” The impeccably-if-ridiculously-dressed, edgier version of his little brother shouted, stomping his foot like a toddler. Considering he was about that  _ size _ , it only made Stretch laugh harder. 

 

Blackberry was standing on the completely over elaborate throne that had presumably previously belonged to this timeline’s Queen Toriel and he  _ still _ only reached chest height for Stretch. Stretch himself was decked out in an impractical, massive bronze bra decorated with engraved swirls and stars and a long purple skirt with a revealing slit-- Because he had  _ so _ much modesty to hide. He’s almost impressed by the sheer pointlessness of the outfit. A bronze bra? He’s a  _ skeleton _ . A revealing slit? What was he showing off his skinny white bones? Much erotic. Very sex. Wow. The magic-restricting collar he’s wearing is chained to the throne, but that’s about the only restraint the little fuck has bothered with.

 

Blackberry’s getup isn’t much better. It looks  _ far _ too reminiscent of the time he own brother had decided he wanted to ‘fit in’ with the Underfell versions of them and raided Edge’s closet.  Spikes and leather do not look intimidating on a three foot tall chubby little skeleton. It just doesn’t  _ work _ . Cherry had laughed his ass off, and Stretch had just barely managed to hold it in at the time to preserve Berry’s feelings.

 

Here, he has no such reservations.

 

“i…” he wheezes out in-between giggling fits. “i… can’t…” He catches a glance of the smaller monster’s angry face out of the corner of his eye and bursts into laughter once again.

 

Blackberry begins to rant again, and Stretch simply sat there on the floor,  watching this sad excuse of a 'warlord' bark about his self-proclaimed greatness while his true brother stood in the corner, audibly saying 'yes, milord.' every so often while clearly reading a magazine. PapyQ being so unnaffected by the situation only fed into Stretch's amusement.

  
  


“TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!” Blackberry shrieked, arms flailing around so much Stretch was afraid he was going to pull something.

 

“look, i can’t take you seriously dude. you’re trying waaaaaay too hard right now. All i can think is that you’re compensating for something…” Stretch grins.

 

The resulting screech from the little twerp shakes the window panes.

 

“remember your blood pressure, milord.” PapyQ says in a bored voice, turning a page. Stretch is  _ pretty _ sure that’s a Playboy from the Surface…

 

“NOBODY ASKED YOU, MUTT!” Blackberry yelled. 

 

“sure thing milord.” When this is over, Stretch needs to find out how PapyQ does such a perfect monotone. 

 

The large double doors at the end of the throne room slam open, and there stands Edge, eye blazing and a flurry of bones already summoned. Unsurprisingly, Cherry’s sitting on his shoulders, looking equally pissed and ready to skewer something.

 

“hey guys.” He waves.

 

The pair stop a moment and stare at the scene. Blackberry notices them and begins his rant anew, going on about ‘worthless copies’ and his world’s superiorities.

 

Aside from the ranting, there’s a momentary silence.

 

And then Cherry starts snickering, nearly toppling off of his brother’s shoulders. Edge barely manages to catch him before he hits the floor, dispelling his attack to devote his attention to not dropping his small, hysterical sibling.

 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?” Edge demands.

 

Stretch shrugs. “ask lord bonaparte here.” He vaguely waves a hand in the direction of the small angry skeleton.

 

“PAPY! STOP THEM!”

 

With a put-upon sigh, PapyQ sets his Playboy to the side and takes his sweet time waltzing over. “i’m gonna destroy you in the name of milord, blah blah blaaaah, threat threat ineffectual threat.” He waves a hand. Orange magic flickers at his phalange-tips, then fizzles out. “oh no. i have been vanquished. woe is me.”His monotone never once wavers.

 

“PAPY!” The little purple ball of anger and regrets screams.

 

PapyQ sighs again and points at his brother. “look, milord, i  _ told _ you this wouldn’t work. but did you listen? no. because nobody ever listens to papy.” He throws his hands in the air, walking back towards his corner. “i mean, it’s not like i actually  _ talked _ to the guy while you were across the party making bedroom eyes at him.”

 

Cherry bursts into snickers again. “bedroom eyes. heh.”

 

“it’s not like  _ i _ know how he thinks or anything. why listen to me? it’s not like  **_i’m basically him or anything_ ** .” He picks up his magazine again, disappearing behind the centerfold. “sure, milord, ignore my advice. it’s worked out  _ swell _ so far.”

 

All PapyQ’s little speech does is create even  _ more ranting _ , now complete with the occasional easily-sidestepped bone attack from his brother. None of the audience can even understand what Blackberry is saying anymore.

 

Cherry squirms out of his older brother’s grip and pops over to PapyQ. “wow. nobody listens to the guy who drinks straight barbeque sauce.  _ shocker _ .” 

 

PapyQ scowls at the slightly smaller version of his brother, who’s grinning up at him from below his magazine. He doesn’t even have to move it to give the little twat the evil eye. “mustard ain’t much better, twerp.”

 

“is too!”

 

“is not.”

 

“uh-huh!”

 

“nuh-uh.”

 

As they dissolve into childish bickering, Stretch and Edge exchange a glance. Blackberry’s  _ still _ screaming about something, and PapyQ and Cherry are now adding to the din with their nonsensical, unprovoked spat about condiments.

 

“wanna go get muffet’s?”

 

“AS LONG AS I DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH ANY ATROCIOUS PUNS.”

 

“no promises, edge.” 

 

Edge summons a bone to break Stretch’s collar, and the two departed, completely unnoticed and unmissed by the three children they left behind. 


End file.
